


best friends (ex-friends 'til the end)

by patron_saint



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2012, Angst, Breakup, Drabble, M/M, Phan - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-07
Updated: 2017-01-07
Packaged: 2018-09-15 09:23:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9228674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/patron_saint/pseuds/patron_saint
Summary: In which no decision seems like the right one, but in the end they choose.





	

The air is still. It’s serene, almost, on the brink of peaceful. A certain kind of silence that is both resigned and heavy, carrying with it the undercurrents of suffocation. Tiny volts of electricity creep slowly down Phil’s spine, making him want to shiver, if only he had the courage to break this stalemate.  


His eyes have been wandering for countless minutes, refusing to meet Dan’s despite feeling them on his face, unblinking. They’re stood in their lounge, watching each other. The tension of weeks had turned into months that built up to this moment. To his best friend-turned-lover-turned-what-have-they-become walking into the room with nothing more than arms crossed and expression rigid, a silent message to Phil that the delicate thread they’d been holding onto had worn out.  


His eyes trace the worn leather of their couch, the indents they’d spent years forming, the coffee table with its collection of nicks and bangs. Pictures, books, odds and ends, the dust that collects through a friendship meant to last forever. He swallows once- twice- is unable to dislodge the fist stopping up his throat. Every breath is tense, as if the next one will be enough to collapse his ribcage in on itself. They’re statues in a garden whose flowers have been choked out by weeds. Thorns wrap around them until the only way out is through the sting. Steeling himself, Phil forces the air out and over his tongue.  


It brings a kind of painful relief, like a knife finally breaking skin after hovering over it for hours.  


“We were always going to say goodbye, weren’t we?” He drags his gaze to meet Dan’s, who, as he suspected, has been watching him tight-lipped and stony.  


“Yeah. I think so.”  


The ache of this conversation doesn’t let up. It intensifies, a growing weight that bows his shoulders. His voice doesn’t crack, but it splinters and he knows they both hear it.  


“I loved you, though. I loved you so much.”  


A pause. He hears a breath drawn in, knows Dan well enough by now that he’s struggling against his own heartache, knows the younger wants to stop this conversation, knows that he feels like he can’t. Phil wants to tell him he can, they can fix themselves and each other, like they always have. He might, if Dan just breaks a little further, if maybe his voice cracks over his words. If it splits or fractures or chips even the slightest bit, if it gives an indication that Dan can be swayed back from the edge they teeter on.  


“I know. I know. I loved you, too.”  


But it doesn’t.

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this ages ago and finally decided to post it. sorry it's so short, but mostly it was practice. if you liked it, i may write more! your thoughts are appreciated.


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